The Perfect Relationship #4: Fights

Love is like a coin: there are two faces that lives together. One side is the happy one, with the first date, the first kiss and lot of other things, but there is also the sad one, where things doesn’t go very well. Between misunderstandings, different point of views and everything else, low points come pretty easily…and often fights come often with the low points. To be honest, often fights start those bad moment. The question is: are fights bad? Can we avoid them?

Well…living a fight it’s never good: screaming against the person you love, losing sometime the control of your mind and telling what you don’t think, just because you are angry, it’s not cool. Especially if the fight are on a daily base! In that case the break-up or the divorce are maybe the only way to get out from a very horrible situation.

Can you avoid fights? This is the question of the questions. Technically yes, but just be honest: in a very long relationship (longer than 10 years) fight will happens. It may be a small or a huge one, but voices will get louder and often hurtful things will be said. Life in unpredictable and you never know what about to happen. So, trying everything you can to avoid something we will maybe never be able to avoid is a kind of waste of time and effort. It’s like fighting against the windmill with a fork. It just doesn’t work.

However, you can do actually something about it…something way much more useful and absolutely powerful: working on yourself and know your partner.

Fights happen because we just let the emotions run wild on us without any kind of control. And it’s worse when we are “passionate” or we get mad pretty easy, pretty fast: those people need only a little tiny reason to become a fire in California durind summer. If you really want to avoid a lot of fights is to take a breath and see thing with calm. There’s a solution for everything and there’s no reason to fight. Once you fight and unleash anger against someone, you might maybe feel relieved in the beginning, but the problem will be still there. It doesn’t care if you are angry, the problem won’t go away until you don’t solve it…and anger is not a solution. The real solution is face the problem and solve it together with the person you love the most. Keeping him or her away from you due to a huge fight is not good.

Also knowing your partner is a pretty key factor if you want to avoid fight…any kind of fight. Lot of fight happens because we think to know our partner perfectly, but we don’t…not as we think anyway. Maybe we do something he or she doesn’t like, maybe we say something for us funny, but for our partner is pretty offensive, or maybe you are very different, but you don’t want to find a common ground to walk on. The more you know your partner, the easier for you to avoid those things that can make create some tense in your daily life.

Relationship is an hard work. You need to work on the relatioship itself, but also on yourself. Once you get in a relatioship, both partners have to change to make things work. Otherwise fight will be everytime behind the corner on every big little problem.

See ya

Mauro

The Ironically All-Rounder
I'm pretty sure to know everything. If thre's nothing i don't know. be free to tell me!

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