Relationships are comlpicates sometimes, people say. You need dedication, hard work, time, effort and strong feelings for someone else. But those thing should be automatically in a healthy relationship…and speaking of healthy relationship, do we want to talk about intimacy? Because without it, there’s no couple whatsoever!
For this post we should start with the understanding of what’s intimacy is really about. There are probably as much definition as human being on this planet. Every single person in this world has its own idea of intimacy. My idea about it?
It’s all about masks. Since we start to go to school, we use to wear masks both to protect us from judgement and to look us accepted in our world from the people around us. There’s only one way we take it out: when we die! And even there our relatives try to cover our “dark side”. There’s no way in this world we decide willingly to take off our masks and show who we really are in front of people who are there, waiting for something like that and destroy us. Even if in a love relationship, the closest thing we have, we doesn’t take mask off completely. Think about it: how many couple learn something new from the partner after years? A lot and this is a problem, in my opinion.
There are couple who break up, after years of a apparently wonderful relationship, just because one of the two involved knows something from the other that it’s like the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs. Why are not ready to take off COMPLETELY the masks we are wearing? Why don’t we have the will to embrace entirely the one we love and why do we have fear of not being accepted from the person we love the most. Why?
Because it’s too scary and dangerous. There’s nothing dangerous than be yourself. No, sleeping together doesn’t mean taking off the mask, because being outside naked doesn’t mean being inside naked. That’s the huge different: taking off clothes is easy, we can do it without emotion involved and we can still fake our emotions, but how about open the courtain and let your partner see through you? Are you brave enough?
Not all of us is brave enough to do that. Can you just imagine how much bravery need to do something like that? In an healthy relationship something like that should be absolutely normal and instinctive.
When you are together with someone you have to take off your mask. It’s the main reason of being together: feeling safe, protected, loved and wanted. All this emotion must make you feel freee to let open your heart, mind and soul without any kind of problems, doubts and fears. If you don’t feel 100% safe and protected with the someone you call “my love” why are you with that person together? Better be alone!
In the relationship you must be able to let your mind speak as much as you want: every insecutiry, every single little fear, every nightmare and every secret must be told and you have to feel safe to do so and, in the same way, you have to be ready to take what’s your partner has to offer. Show your body is easy, show your mind is an impossible tasks for lot of us.
This is my idea of intimacy: sharing and be free. What’s yours?