The perfect Relationship #7: Freedom

People have very different opinion when they want to exaplain what you need for an healthy, happy and long relationship . Long story short, there are two main phisolophy: those who says the the more time teogether, the better and the other that says that the less the partners are together, the healthier and happier the couple will be. The question is: what’s right or wrong?

It’s a pretty hard question to find a answer that can be applied to every single couple in the history and in this world, because every couple is unique and what might work for a couple, might not work for another one. However, it’s interesting to see that everything can be divived in two big sides: the “all the time together” and “the less time together”. For both sides there are pro and contras that i would like to analyse the with you.

The “all the time together” side of the story is the more obvious, but at the same time very hard to achieve. For me, being a couple means that automatically, even without thinking about it, want to be together. Not because they are forced to, but because both people in the couple wants to stay with the other all the time, because they are both in love with each other. You have probably already lived this moments: you are at home, but the only thing you have in your mind is your beloved and you want to have him or her in your arms, next to you, over or under you…no wait, it’s just too dirty right now. Sorry. You talked a lot, you touched a lot, you kiss a lot and you hug a lot. It seems that every second without your partner is a “waste of time”.
In principle, i would be agree with you: being together is wonderful. However, it’s never easy and sometimes this “being together” policy might be a problem. In a relationship there are days where you are happy and everything is fine, other time where the only thing you want is just staying alone for a while. It happens and there’s nothing wrong with that, but if you are with someone all the time it’s absolutely impossible to be on your own. There are a lot of couple that, because of the forced isolation due to covid-19, have divorced. Maybe they were in love, but when it’s too much, it’s too much.

And then you decide, after reading above, that maybe the right solution is “almost never together”, where you and your partner are together the least amount of time possible. Both people are together only in specific moments or in certain days, for example they meet only on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and they go out for a date once a week. The rest of the week is free for both and they can do whatever they want alone or with their friends. This is controversial in my opinion: on one side you will be 100% free and you will never have to face the problem of feeling trapped in a cage, but how can you create something bigger than just a flirt? I don’t know, but this kind of policy doesn’t convince me too much. How can you know your partner well? How can you think to have a family with the other or raise kids in this kind of relationship?
“Almost never together” works only in the very first stages of a relationship, because it’s nothig serious or if you have a “friendship with benefits”, in that case you don’t care at all to get emotionally involved with the partner you are going out with. It’s even incredible for me to thing that there are couple out there who are trying this tactics, not because they are not in love, but because they are scared of boredom, fights or being in a bad mood.

Those two ways to see a relationship and live love are very distant one to the other. Which one is the best? As i said early in this post, every couple is different, but one thing is for me very hard to realise: if you love someone you want him or her…how can you stay away for so many days? I know that trust is important in a relationship, but how can you have trust in someone if you see the other person once a week, maybe twice…Sorry, but i don’t see how things can become serious, even if it’s love at the first sight. On the other side, being constantly together might be a torture, because there are things a man and a woman must do alone…think about friendship: how weird sometimes it is to meet your friends when they are in a relationship and how even harder it is to talk freely with them without the “third wheel” all around?

I am convinced that the more time a couple spend together, the better it is for the relationship. However there must be moments in the week where the both of them have a sort of “time-out” from the relationship, where they can do things for themselves, both alone or with friends. It’s healthy for their mind and healthy for the couple, because in this way they can just talk about something and change experiences. If in a couple there is trust and the two are loyal and intelligent enough, this breaks will be an absolute bless for both.

What’s your opinion about it? Are you a “all the time together” or “almost never together” kind of person?

See ya

Mauro

The Ironically All-Rounder
I'm pretty sure to know everything. If thre's nothing i don't know. be free to tell me!

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