You will probably find yourself in a specif moment in your life where you are together with your parnter (man or woman) and everything is going pretty good. Time passes and your emotion for each other are getting so deep than you can’t think a life without him or her anymore. At one point, maybe you or maybe your beloved one, will want to start a conversation about getting the family a little bit bigger. The question is: are you ready? Do you know what being parents really means?
Being a father or a mother doesn’t mean just have a baby and love it for the rest of your life. Yes, love is a great start, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a lot of other things you have to figure out before to even think to become a parents. The “problems” of being parents are basically three: time, money and energy…and all of this three things are not limitless. I know that my thoughts sound a little bit too pragmatic and i am missing the magic of the moment, but we all know that this “magic” will be gone pretty soon and we have to face the reality that being parents is hard. So, better be prepared before to “get the job done”!
As i was saying, money, time and energy….let’s start with money, because it’s the easiest thing of the three to talk about.
The question here is really simple: are you financially stable? Are your income enough to cover all the cost to raise the baby? To answer that question you should sit on the table and try to understand how big the financial effort might be in the next 2, maybe 3 decades…at least until your son or daughter will not find a job. How much money do you both earn right now? Are money enough for you two and the baby for living a decent life together? In case of one of us loses the job, can you live with one income in the meantime?
Well…i thought that it Money ware not a big problem but they are. Already there is not so simple: too much open questions and too less certainty. But let’s say that your couple is financially stable, there’s another problem: time.
How long do you both work in a week? 40, 50 or 60 hours? If you work so long, how can you raise a kid properly? How can you only imagine to spend some quality time with your kid if you have barely time for yourself? Sorry, but i don’t see how your family can be happy and healthy in the long terms, when you both get home tired and time for the kids is just not there…Even worse if you are both working hard to climb the leather of your company or you are trying to build your own business. Those two activities are very time consuming and sometimes you have to work very long, because something happens or you have to deat with big time problems. Kids and career is not possible in this society. It should be, but it’s not! Either you give up to the idea of being successful in your job or maybe you should postpone the entire “being parent” thing, until you don’t reach what you want to reach.
The last one is actually the consequence of time: energy. If you invest time in something, your job or career, you are also investing mental or physical energy and the more you work, the bigger is the enegery consumption. If you were single, or just in the first phase of the relationship, you could come back home and relax a little bit, something already pretty hard to do if you are living together with someone, because there are thing you maybe have to do together. You are maybe already tired at the end of the day with just one adult person in the same place, can you imagine how exhausted you will be with a screaming baby around you? We are human being and our energy for the day is not unlimited. Once we are low or empty, we don’t work anymore and we need to recharge the battery. The only problem is that babies sometimes don’t give you that time and opportunity
More than those three important aspects to think of, there are lot of sleepless nights, worries, appointments and only God knows what. Being a parents is the hardest job ever! I’m not saying right now that now being parents is a nightmare and we should avoid that, absolutely not! With this post i only want to say that before to become parents we need to figure out where we are and where we want to go. In my personal opinion, the two in the couple have the priority and they should not feel forced to become parents. Only when both in the couple have realised everthing they wanted, then they can thing to raise a baby, because they will have time, money and maybe energy for the baby.
Once you are satisfyed with your life you can talk with each other and ask the following questions:s Is there still time to have a baby? let’s do that. Is is too late? It was meant to be.
I know that you might think differently about that and i would be happy to hear your thought on the comment below!