I am living in this world since the beginning of the 90s. For thirty years i have lived my life. I have done good things and bad things. There are things i regret and things i am proud of. However, i would never EVER change a thing of my life. Not because my life is perfect, we are far away from perfection. The fact is that i would not be here right now, writing with you. However, i have learnt a couple of things that i would share with you!
Living My Life: never believe anybody!
Sorry, but living my life i believed too much in what people told me. Especially every time i worked. People told me “we have great planes for you”, “you are an important part of the team” or “we will help you to grow!”. It was always a huge lie and every time i believed it. You can’t imagine how bad those lies have hurt me. In the beginning, i really thought that those people where honest. I was wrong. It was a way to keep me calm and obedient.
With friend was even worse. People used to tell me “No, we care of you!”, “We like you, really!” when in truth the didn’t care about me at all. For some reasons, those so called “friends” lied to me over and over again. Maybe i was too naive to understand or they were really mean. I have no idea. The fact is that i was always alone, even if i was surrounded by people. I learnt that i feel better alone. I have finally realised that i have very hard time to trust people. In the beginning i wanted to change. Now i just accept that.
Living My Life: Being selfish often pays off!
I often helped people. When i needed, however, i receive nothing back from them. I was always there for the other, when they needed someone to talk. When i needed, nobody had time to listen to me. Do you know how frustrating is it to help people and have nothing back? I learnt that sometimes i have to care only about my business. It’s not healthy to think to help people, when people never helped me in the first place. I will help someone only if this someone helps me first. There’s no way i will do the first step. I was used and threw away like garbage too much times. Sorry, i can’t play this sick game anymore.
I started to be more selfish and think myself first. I do first all the thing i want to do. If i have time to help someone, i will do. Otherwise i will say “Sorry, i have no time!”. Very often people used my time. In the end, they get everything and i had nothing. My time is precious and wasting it is not an option anymore. I will use it to do whatever makes me happy and then come the others.
Living My Life: Follow my instinct
To be honest, our instinct is sometimes bizarre! I mean, how many times it tells us to do something crazy? A lot. In my case some things were so crazy that they were impossible to believe or follow. But it was right all along. I didn’t follow my instinct and now i have to pay the price. One thing is for sure. Our instinct knows what’s best for us. Oh, it knows that pretty damn well! Only recently i have started to listen to this very shy voice. There’s a reason why i quit my job and started my journey as a blogger. It’s because for once i have heard that voice. Is it a risky move? Oh, hell yeah! But if i never try, i will never know!
I know that follow my instinct can be dangerous, but here is my point. For three decades i listen to my brain and other people. As a result, i have almost always done the wrong thing. And my instinct was there, trying to tell me that i was doing wrong. But i have never had the courage to listen to it. For once i want to. Let’s see what’s gonna happen!
Living My Life: F**k the other!
Honestly, who cares what the other do! I am not like you and i don’t want to be like you. You are not better than me. We are the same and you have not so much to offer. More than that, we have different lives, we have chosen differently and we have met different people. I don’t care if you have “more than me” or “you have achieved more than me!” It’s not a race to prove we are better. I don’t want to get sick to win nothing. I don’t want to play this sick game anymore. Been there, done that! It brought me anywhere near i wanted to be. Do the other want to follow the trend like sheep? I let them do that and enjoy the show. In the meantime, i do my thing and see where i will go.
I let the people do and say whatever they want.
The “older” i get, the more i think that most of the people around me don’t have a working brain. I mean, how can people say so mean things? Insulting women, gay, black, Arabic or Asian people? Why? What’s the point? If they are competing for the “worst human being in history” awards, i thing that we have a long list of winners. When i was younger i tended to ignore those people. Growing up i started to get a little bit mad about them, now i don’t care at all. It’s a huge waste of time to teach people how to use the brain properly. If the want to use it wrong, just let them do that! They are millions and i am only one. It’s too much time consuming.
Now i am thirty and i have become one of those old people who hates everything around them. How cool is that! In this way i can stay away from toxic people and be happy! I would rather be alone but happy than with 100 thousand people and feel alone!