France: Funny Country Review!

This specific post will not be liked by lot of people. I was born in Italy and i am proud to say that in my veins flow Italian blood. There’s something weird if you are an Italian: At one point in our lives we start to make fun of France. We should not do that, but France does everything it can to give us new material to make fun of the land of Eiffel Tower.

France and its weird language!

Let’s start from something i will never understand. People around the world say that French is the “language of love”. I’m not kidding. Lot of women French is absolutely sexy. And honestly, i don’t even know what they are talking about! I’m my opinion, every other language in the world is way much sexier that French.

French is uselessly complicated and very funny to hear. If you are not born in that Country, your life is screwed. Because as soon as you learn French, your life become a living nightmare. Have you heard the way the pronounce the “r”? It’s a very weird way to pronounce a letter. It’s like they try to throw up something from their throat. Simply gross. Why don’t they pronounce the “r” like English people, for example? Because English is a freaking sexy language. Not France. Don’t you believe me? Have you heard a girls talks in English?

The thing that drives me crazy, however, is the way the say numbers. Let’s play a little game. Let’s take the number 84. This is how this numbers is said in different language:
-Italian (ottantaquattro = 80 and 4)
-German (vierundachtig = 4 and 80)
-Spanish (ochenta y cuatro = 80 and 4)
-English (Eighty four = 80 and 4)

This is how French people say 84: quatre-vingt-quatre (4 time 20 and 4). I mean, seriously? 4 time 20 and four? Why on Earth someone has to make even simple things complicated? Only French People think is normal something like that!

France and its superiority!

Art

Especially when they talk about Italy, they think to be superior. When, in truth, the only reason why their museums are full is because of Italian painting and statues. I was in Paris and i went to the Louvre. I mean, Louvre is gigantic and full of wonderful piece of arts. And the biggest past of them come from Italy. In Louvre there are also French art masterpiece, but nobody cared about them.

Believe me! There were a lot of people to make the ticket and then they disappeared. Like someone delete them with one click. It was surreal. All the visitors in the museum were all in just one place: where the Gioconda was! Trust me, you can visit Louvre asking yourself “where are everybody?” and then, all of a sudden, you see a room completely full of people, just to watch one picture. A picture painted by an Italian man. I’m not now saying that Gioconda belongs to Italy. I’m just saying that the most famous piece of art they have was painted by an Italian. Not Rembrandt, Not Monet, not Manet. Leonardo Da Vinci is the name.

Apart from there, i have to tell you that in Paris there are a couple of other place worthy the visit, like the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame. But nothing compared to Italy. We have entire Cities that are open-air museums like Venice, Rome and Florence. When we talk about art, there’s no competition!

Food.

To be honest, French is famous for only two things: macaron and baguette. I try for days to find a third typical French food, known world wide. But i didn’t find it. They don’t have a the same quality we have in Italy. French are great in technique. But when we talk about French specialties they have not so much to offer.

Everything they have is either a copy of Italian food or they use Italian product to seel their products better. Like Wine, for example. For years they used Italian grapes to improve their wine that, otherwise, would have tasted as red water.

War.

Even i war they are not that great. Don’t you believe me? When the America were colonized, What we remember is Spain, England and Holland. France had colonies, but nobody cares. I mean, they had not that impact like Spanish or England colonies.

Napoleon was a flop. Yes, he was great for a couple of decades, them he lost miserably. In the WWI they won, but nobody remember France as a key player in the war. In addition to that, in the WWII we have to thank France if Hitler was able to be so dominant. Why? Well, Because French were so smart to think not to complete the maginot line. They built this line along the border between Germany and France, but not along France and Belgium. So, Hiltler invaded Belgium and then France with no resistance. How can you take this country seriously?

France and A stupid way to make humor

They have no idea how or when to be funny. Do you remember Charlie Hebd√≤? I have absolutely nothing against the freedom of speech. However, one should be a little bit smart and say “you know what? Better not to make fun of this thing!” But they did, because they thought to be untouchable. The problem is that any human being is untouchable. Humor is not something you can do without any kind of consequences…especially if with that humor you insults something like a billion people. Any other country in the world didn’t and still don’t make jokes around Islam, but French did. And here we are to cry dead people.

France made fun of Berlusconi, the former Italian president, due to his sexual scandal. Now her former president Sarcozy found guilty because of illegal campaign finance. Before to make joke of another president, make sure that yours is completely innocent! Damn, this country is a mess!

Conclusion.

France is one of those country you should not take seriously. We in Italy don’t take it seriously. And we are right! It’s a wonderful country full of things to see, especially Italian masterpiece, but it’s not one of those countries i should say “OMG, they are mad! Now we are in trouble!”

I would be happy to be denied. I would love to say “you know what? France is not that bad and useless after all!” But i am not so sure that this day will come!

I would just spend a couple of weeks a year to do shopping and for the sea, nothing more. Then i would come back home and think “France is a great country, but Italy is better!”

See ya

Mauro.

The Ironically All-Rounder
I'm pretty sure to know everything. If thre's nothing i don't know. be free to tell me!

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