It happened to me almost every time: talking with someone. It may be a member of my family, a friend or myself. It’s like a nail in my brain that comes to the surface as soon as i have a person in front of me: what do i do? Do i lie or i tell the truth? This is a freaking big dilemma for me and i think for a lot of other people. My heart say to tell the truth and my brain tells me to lie. Who is right? My brain or my heart? Let’s find out together!
Talking: Listen to your heart!
That’s actually what we should do. When you are talking with someone (it can be anyone) you need to be emphatic and try to understand the other’s point of view. Especially if this person is going through a lot and it needs a familiar face to talk with. It happens often, especially if with this person you have a close relationship, like a sibling, a very close friend or especially your partner. Talking is easy sometimes. Especially if the other is a talker. Because the conversation will be “one-way”, where the other talks, talks and talks and you don’t have to do nothing but listen. Things get next level when that person ask you for an opinion. Here is a problem. Because you can say “i let my heart speak” and you start to tell the truth. Are you sure about that?
Telling the Truth!
Be sure to be prepared. As soon as you start to tell the truth, the other will probably start to insult you, because you said the truth. The other should not be mad at you, because you said the truth, but honesty is something not all the people are able to deal with. Not because it’s an unknown concept, but because the truth is hard. Oh boy, if the truth is hard sometimes! There are moments where you wish to be punched in the face by Mike Tyson that facing the situation for what it really is. So, you are there, looking like a executioner, just because you thought that honesty might be way much better than forcing the other to live in a bubble full of lies. But here you are, alone, thinking that you should lie like lot of people usually do.
Talking: Listen to your brain!
Let’s say that you are still talking with that person. it doesn’t stop to talk and you are there, trying to keep up with all the information and changing of emotion going on in that moment. After endless minutes of yelling, screaming, crying and nonsense from the other person, it will ask you your opinion about what he or she just said. You are thinking to be honest, but you are one of my fans and you have already read what i just wrote above. So, your mind comes to play and here you are, starting to think fast of possible lies that might be helpful.
Lie as much as you can!
In that moment you don’t want to mess up a very confusing, complicated and fragile situation. More than that, you wrongly assuming that the one, you are talking with, is not in the condition to hear the truth. Not in that specific moment at least. Your freaking stupid mind tells you that it would be better for everybody in that room if you lie. You are not going to say what you think, or the truth, but you are going to say what the other wants to hear in that moment, knowing perfectly that it’s not good for anybody.
So, you start to say only thing he or she wants to hear. Then, after a long day or evening, the other is more relaxed, is a little bit happier and things are starting to go in the right direction. It looks all fine. Then time passed, thinks are settle down and that person start to process thing for real. At a certain point, that person will realized you told a huge amount of lies. That, my friend, is the worst moment. Both because you will become the enemy and also because maybe you are gonna have hard time with that person. And if that person is the person you are living together…well, good luck with that! Why are you the bad guy now? Well, because you didn’t tell the truth. “But he or she didn’t want to hear that! you may say. Well….
It’s a long term game!
That’s the game you are into. If you lie, the other person can be “happy” in the short terms. Then he or she will realize you have lied. In those moments, if something like that happened, he or she will think you don’t care at all of him or her. What might be the consequence? Well, you will lose that person…or at least his or her trust. If you say the truth, the other can be mad for a while in the beginning. And of course you will look like the bad guy. But then he or she realized you were right and you will be the good guy again, the one who has tried to help, to move on and to deal with the problem since day one.
Tells always the truth! Don’t even think for one second to lie to him/her or to yourself. Because one day he or she will find out and you will be screwed forever. Better to look rude and unkind in the very beginning, but then turning into the hero in the future, than being the “hero” in the very beginning, but turning like a very bad person in the future! Trust me! Been there, done that! I write a post times ago about the benefit of telling the truth. I leave you here. Maybe it can help you!